What the freak is that see-through greeny?

Posted on April 3, 2019April 5, 2019 by Gabe Solomon

“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

Literally. Look at his stomach.

You’re looking at a glass frog. By glass frog, I don’t mean a glass model of a frog – this is an actual living creature called the “glass frog.”

You may think this creature fragile because you can actually see its heart and internal organs, and you would be right, but glass frogs are fearless protectors of their young.

Females attach their eggs to the underside of leaves and the males are on guard-duty 24/7, until they hatch. A wasp gets too close? That’s a frog kick to the face. A snake in need of a snack? Frog kick to the face. Also a dead frog, but you win some, you lose some.

Guarding the eggs isn’t the father’s only duty. He must keep the eggs moist. Rain will usually take care of that, but in the event of a dry spell, he’ll cover the clutch with his moist body, and worst case, he’ll pee on them. A dad’s gotta do what a dad’s gotta do.

What the freak is that big-eyed tree squirrel?

Posted on April 3, 2019April 3, 2019 by Gabe Solomon

This is the Sunda colugo.

The first thing you might notice are its big eyes that appear to be perpetually falling out of its skull. They give the impression that these colugos are constantly amazed by the gift of sight.

Those eyes are much the reason these animals are confused with lemurs. They’re literally called “Sunda flying lemurs.”

Except they’re not lemurs.

And they can’t fly.

Sunda colugo
Didasteph
Madagascar lemur
R. Hilgartner

Sunda colugo can glide over 100m while losing less than 10m in elevation. They have a fold of skin that runs from their head to the tips of their fingers, and down to their tail.

Extending their arms and legs gives them lots of surface area to work with. Just like my grandmother, except she can’t fly.

But my grandmother CAN probably beat the world’s fastest Sunda coluga in a footrace. These big-eyed non-lemurs are absolutely hopeless on the ground.

What the freak is that luscious lipped creature?

Posted on April 2, 2019April 3, 2019 by Gabe Solomon

I’ll tell you what you’re looking at here. It’s a solid 10.

This bad boy of a fish is called the red-lipped batfish.

Although it lives underwater, this fish is about as good at swimming as a drunk baby is at walking. Not that I’ve ever seen a drunk baby. I’m also not saying that I haven’t.

The red-lipped batfish prefers to walk along the sea bed in search of food and perch on its fins while it surveys its surroundings. With lips as fine as those, prey is practically begging to be eaten.

The horn-looking thing on its head is called an illicium. It’s thought to be used for luring prey, but I’m under the impression that it’s just God’s gift that turns this fish from a 9 into a perfect 10.